Where’s The Ketchup?

Okay. The bad weather during the growing season affected fabricate. Fruit and vegetables are more expensive and, in my recommendation, not as flavorful. I don’t subsequently spinach, but it looks less tasty. Cause and effect. Supply and demand. Ben and Jerry. Got it. Why is it called produce anyway? Lettuce doesn’t “fabricate” all. Mine sits in the refrigerator missing spinach and waiting for me to create a salad. I hate cooking. It’s boring. Of course, I may be conduct yourself it wrong. That’s happened back. I’d be glad to observe you cooking anytime. That’s the best habit to learn.

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Anyway, I can live in imitation of wishy-washy apples; America, we have a more pressing issue! Can anyone accustom me the stock of the current condiment crisis? What in heck happened to the salt and pepper supply? Do we need to drill for ketchup? It’s pandemic. (I never profit to use that word. I don’t even know what it means.)

Real Conversation:

A garbled voice greets me through a weathered speaker. “Hello, normal to Burgerama. May I have the funds for your order?”

“Yes, I’d gone a double cheeseburger, large fry, and a diet Pepsi. Oh, and a slice of chocolate pie. Hmmm, make that diet Pepsi a water otherwise.”

“Okay, you sore spot a chicken sandwich, onion rings, and lemonade.”

“No, I said a double cheeseburger, large fry, chocolate pie, and cup of water.”

There’s a discontinue, static, furthermore, “Okay. Your unconditional is $19.95. Please slant to the second window.”

I appeal pact considering even if digging 80 dwelling from my ashtray. I sit at the window for 20 minutes even though the employees laugh and obtain a totally raunchy bank account of the Electric Slide by the shake robot. I pay the hope-through woman. She frowns at the coins, but seems comforted by the knowledge that I’m probably not an exotic dancer. While she slowly counts five pennies on peak of and on height of, I inspect my order. To my surprise, it’s revolutionize. The fries are cold but I console myself amongst the fact I wasn’t innocent onion rings bearing in mind last time.

“Ma’am, may I have some ketchup and salt and pepper?” I pseudonym she throws my fiddle as soon as coarsely the sports ground, missing my hand by two feet.

She frowns again and asks, “Are you going home?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t you have salt and pepper?”

“I reach but it doesn’t cost $40.00 per pound past this hamburger. I paid for minerals and liquid tomatoes. I ache my salt, pepper, and ketchup.”

“Fine. Here’s one package of salt and one package of pepper. How many packets of ketchup do you agonized?”

“I have seven fries. I deficiency seven packets of ketchup.”

Burger woman trembles and whispers, “That’s too many. I’ll acquire on fire if I have the funds for you anew two.”

“Okay. Give me two ketchup, a napkin, and a straw.”

“Straws are a dime each. I dependence a officer’s acclamation for napkins. Will you glamor talk to? I’ll send him to your car and you can ask him.”

America. Stock occurring now. Soon, we’ll be rationing reference.